Happiness

by divya divya No Comments

Motivating Your Teenage Son to Success

As a child your son was enthusiastic. He loved playing with blocks, reading and drawing. His boundless energy of always wanting to learn more, touch things and explore often left you exhausted but pleased. You knew you had a smart child in the making. However, by the time he hit elementary school, things began to change.

It was around this time when you received your first note that your child was “experiencing some problems.” Included in the list of teacher comments were things like failing to complete projects on time, not turning in homework, is fidgeting in classes and not staying focused on task at hand. His lack of motivation left you feeling disheartened as you look over his mediocre grades and sly attitude.

 

It seems your teenage son has officially disconnected, leaving you to wonder why your smart child is no longer motivated to succeed. While a lack of motivation can be cause for a child to not succeed, an un-motivated child can also turn your home into a battleground. One of the first steps to motivating your teenage son is to help them develop a love of learning.

Boys learn differently

Males learn best with they are on the move as opposed to being sedimentary. This will explain the fidgeting in the classroom. The male mind is more interested in physical activity such as building things, running and jumping, solving puzzles, touching and exploring. Studies show that boys prefer to read stories about other boys involved in activities they enjoy.

Make learning fun by connecting home and school

You’ll need to pay special attention to your son to find out what does motivate him. Learn about his interests and provide incentives (which are not the same as rewards) to encourage him to learn. For example, if your teenage son enjoys building things, then connect him with a local science club. You can then use this to explain how learning math and physics in school are important to engineering. Perhaps your son loves animals. See if he can volunteer at a nearby vet clinic and explain how biology and science are part of animal care. The idea is to get him motivated by involving him in things that interest him and then convey the importance of his school subjects to his interests.

Time trades

Your teenage son will need to accept the fact he will have to do things he may not want to do, such as homework and house chores. Teaching him about time trades will help him become accustomed to doing these activities. For example, for every minute or hour your son spends doing homework or chores, he can trade an equal amount of time doing something he enjoys from a list that you have created together. He can even bank time to use for daytrips, theme park visits or overnight campouts. Remember, the list needs to consist of his interests or else he won’t be motivated. You can work together to keep track of maintaining the time record and working out details. This method of time trade will also teach him self-regulation.

Other things to try

  • Everyone likes to have their personal space, so create a personalized work area for your son. Work together to create a space where he can do homework, build things, read – whatever he needs to be motivated to do what he needs to do. A personalized workspace will be more appealing to him than a general area that is used by everyone in the house.
  • Consider introducing him to male role models. Find ways in your neighborhood or community to connect your son with organizations that interest him. Maybe your son loves cars and you just happen to have a neighbor that restores old autos. Perhaps your son has a knack for professional sports and the community beside you has an organized sports league. These types of activities can also be used for time trades.

Motivation is something every parent wants for their children. Helping your un-motivated teenage son become interested and motivated is one of the best gifts you can provide. It will teach him to set and achieve his goals and become a life-long learner.

 


Author: Divya Parekh (ACC, CPC, LL, MS) is an international career leadership coach, Head Career Coach at International Coach Academy, and CEO of The DP Group. She assists executives, professionals, coaches and students plan, develop and achieve their career and leadership goals. She has been recognized by Worldwide Who’s Who as ‘VIP of the Year’ for showing dedication, leadership and excellence in leadership coaching. She has also been recognized by NAPW as a ‘VIP Woman of the 2014 Year’ for outstanding leadership and commitment in coaching. She is founder of the 1/1/1 Leader Project. The project prides itself on being simple. Set a goal. Work towards achieving it. Give someone a smile. Be nice to another person. Make the world a little bit nicer. It’s free so get started today!

Article References:

http://tip.duke.edu/node/829

http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/12/03/teenage-son-lacks-motivation/

by divya divya No Comments

Leadership Roles in Social Emotional Intelligence: How stress is affecting our kids

Leadership Roles in Social Emotional Intelligence How stress is affecting our kidsWhen you think of stress, think of pressure. Imagine the pressure a sculptor places on a piece when carving marble. When the right amount of pressure is added, the marble turns into a masterpiece, however, when too much pressure is applied, the marble crumbles into pieces.

Stress is normal as our life is full of challenges, deadlines, frustrations, and pressures. While stress can be productive, in that it can help us produce better work and meet our goals, too much stress is known to result in severe emotional and physical changes. We’ve heard for years that too much stress can cause damage to the heart and immune system, but what about areas of the brain?

Adriana Galván, a neuroscientist at the University of California, Los Angeles, is studying the effects of stress on brain function in adolescents. She notes that, “studies on stress and cognition across development have mostly focused on chronic, severe and often traumatic stress, such as child abuse or neglect,” but her new research “shows the relationship between  normative daily stress and associated stress hormones, and power of decision-making during adolescence.”

When humans are exposed to stress, the brain reacts by secreting a variety of hormones. Of these hormones, adrenaline and cortisol are two that arrive on the scene, increasing the heart rate and blood pressure. Once the stressful situation has ceased, the brain stops the production of these hormones and eventually, the body returns to its natural state.

Chronic stress, which is the response to emotional pressure endured for a prolonged period which an individual recognizes they have no control over, directly affects the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex, the parts of the brain responsible for attention and memory. Chronic stress is common in young people because for many, they are in the initial phase of life learning the skills needed to deal with life’s demands. Galván’s new research showed that chronic stress also affects the adolescents’ amygdala, the part of their brain associated with aggression and anxiety.

Over prolonged periods of time, these changes in adolescents’ brain can influence their ability to make decisions. Of course, the way a young person responds to stress is based on their previous experiences, making it all the more imperative to teach young people about social emotional intelligence.

Teaching our kids how to effectively use social emotional intelligence as a tool will help them understand and manage emotional distress, learn better ways to deal with social situations, build and maintain meaningful relationships, and make responsible decisions.. There comes a point when young people begin to actively judge and address life’s dangers on their own. They are suddenly confronted with situations where they need to decide how to intervene – whether to use violence or counter violence – confrontations that require intense physical and emotional reactions.

Our young people are learning about human intent and motivation, how to deal with struggles and deal with accountability, irresponsibility and malevolence. Without the proper skills, a lot can go wrong along the way. However, with the right skills, with the learned skills of social emotional intelligence, they can come out on top, be successful academically and socially, happier and less stressed.


Author: Divya Parekh (ACC, CPC, LL, MS) is an international career leadership coach, Head Career Coach at International Coach Academy, and CEO of The DP Group. She assists executives, professionals, coaches and students plan, develop and achieve their career and leadership goals. She has been recognized by Worldwide Who’s Who as ‘VIP of the Year’ for showing dedication, leadership and excellence in leadership coaching. She is founder of the 1/1/1 Leader Project. The project prides itself on being simple. Set a goal. Work towards achieving it. Give someone a smile. Be nice to another person. Make the world a little bit nicer. It’s free so get started today!

Article References:

Photo Source: courtesy of Stuart Miles / Free Digital Photos

by divya divya No Comments

About Living in the Moment: The little things in life that matter most

About Living in the Moment The little things in life that matter mostLiving in the moment allows one to observe thoughts and feelings and generate a calm to deal with life’s situations. As John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

For the past months, years, decades, it is one thing or other. Time just slips away like sand from my fingers as I try to hold on to it. Days blend until everything is a blur. With the advent of dawn, the mind clicks into gears and sets the course on the day’s programmed journey. I think I am living in the moment for longer than most of people, but there are times when I am worried about the future or thinking about the past. I forget to be, just be.

As the day unfolds I find time to meditate, spend time with family and harmonize my body and mind amidst the swarm of wheeling and dealings of life. Yet, there is something missing. Something vital lacking.

Let me share one of our rituals with you. My son and I go green whenever possible. While using the car we try to lump as many errands as possible in one time to save fuel and cut back on carbon dioxide emission. One of our rituals is that we go for our haircuts together. We zoom in and we dash out. After the haircut, we look great feel good about beating the time and doing good for the brethren earthlings.

It has been over two months since we cancelled the appointment and got our haircuts. Hence, we look like unkempt poodles. It is a bad hair day, every day. To make things better I decided to wear my hair in a ponytail. Usually I dress well, but do not place a lot of emphasis on looks. The next day at work I am amazed at the number and depth of comments I received over my changed hair style. People had a question if everything is all right. Wow!!

It brought home that looking good matters because others have to look at you too. A well-dressed person is perceived to be someone who:

  • Is smart enough to handle a multitude of situations. Since intelligence is required to mix and match clothes accordingly, this is someone who cares about themselves and about others.
  • Thinks about themselves enough to spend money and time on their appearance.
  • Is self-assured, secure, feels good and vibrant regardless of their age.

What can I do since the next hair appointment is not until two weeks? I put on my thinking cap and scheduled two separate appointments for both of us. I realized that it is fun to be spontaneous and enjoy things as they happen. I hum as I go for my hair cut. As I entered the salon, I look in Angie’s eyes and tell her, “Work your magic Angie!” We talk, laugh and share our news as we catch up. I do not know where the time went. I feel good and look good as the reflection in the mirror stares back at me.

I feel alive! The world came in a sharp focus. It seems to be a pivotal moment as I feel one with myself. Suddenly, a three or four year old boy darted in front of my car from behind another car. I knew that the kid was safe as I pushed the brakes. A myriad of vibrations shook me to the core of my very being. I roll the window down to look for mom or dad. Dad looks at me and laughs as if there was nothing to it. He just asks the kid to step in the car and drives away. I drive home silently trying to figure out what had just happened. I thank the universe for being there for us.

As I ponder over the incident, a fog lifted and everything became crystal clear. The positive illusion of knowing that I knew how to live shattered. Being in the moment creates mindful awareness of what is going on right here and now. It includes any thinking we do about the past, present or future. I can evaluate the situation to learn from it to create a path forward for the future. Mindful awareness marries contemplation and day dreaming with reality.

Being aware allows me to stand back, make choices and direct my life to where I want to be. Being in the moment can save the day. The essence of the moment soothes the soul. We all have our moments when we live that moment.


Author: Divya Parekh (ACC, CPC, LL, MS) is an international career leadership coach, Head Career Coach at International Coach Academy, and CEO of The DP Group. She assists executives, professionals, coaches and students plan, develop and achieve their career and leadership goals. She has been recognized by Worldwide Who’s Who as ‘VIP of the Year’ for showing dedication, leadership and excellence in leadership coaching. She is founder of the 1/1/1 Leader Project. The project prides itself on being simple. Set a goal. Work towards achieving it. Give someone a smile. Be nice to another person. Make the world a little bit nicer. It’s free so get started today!

Photo Source: courtesy of Stuart Miles / Free Digital Photos

by divya divya No Comments

Core Elements For Teens to Raise Their Emotional Intelligence

Core Elements For Teens to Raise Their Emotional IntelligenceWe all know people who are great at mastering their emotions. They are good listeners and have a way of making you feel optimistic and even motivated. Wouldn’t it be nice if we were all able to master our emotions and improve our emotional intelligence? Raising your level of social emotional intelligence can benefit you in many areas of your life and can impact your level of happiness and success. It also plays a role in your level of consciousness and energy.

Emotional intelligence is important to understand. It’s more than just having the ability to recognize your emotions. Having a keen sense of emotional intelligence also means understanding what your feelings are telling you and how these feelings affect others around you.

When you’re in tune with your emotional intelligence, you have the skills to adjust your behavior accordingly by managing your emotions. You also possess the skill to recognize and manage the emotions of other people. Emotional intelligence then, is about interpersonal effectiveness. The more effective you are with other people, the more successful you can be. There are several ways you can go about increasing your level of social emotional intelligence.

Being self-aware
Being able to identify how you feel about things as well as understand who you are, are core elements to self-awareness and emotional intelligence. To increase your level of emotional intelligence via self-awareness, spend time focusing on the present. Write your beliefs and feelings on paper, allowing yourself to put things into perspective and become more aware of who you are.

Learn to empathize
Did you know empathy is the second most important emotion that highly successful people acquire? Having empathy means recognizing and understanding where the other person is coming from. By learning to empathize, you will possess a higher level of emotional intelligence that will allow you get close to others and gain their support. Having the skill of empathy also arms you with the ability to defuse highly-charged conflicts in life.

Learn the importance of self-regulation
To self-regulate means to think before you act. It means having the ability to shift your thoughts in a way that prevents your emotions from taking over a situation. People with self-regulation are aware of their own strengths and weaknesses and look at themselves honestly.

Improve your social skills
You can also raise your level of emotional intelligence by improving your social skills. Learn to connect and talk easily with other people. Be socially responsible for your feelings by focusing on others. This shows that you care about them, not only yourself or about personal gain.

People who are highly emotionally intelligent tend to be happier. They often accomplish more because they can control their mood to serve their purpose. They are more motivated to find solutions to problems and do not feel like a slave to their emotions, which allows them to create more meaningful relationships in both their personal and professional lives.


Author: Divya Parekh (ACC, CPC, LL, MS) is an international career leadership coach, Head Career Coach at International Coach Academy, and CEO of The DP Group. She assists executives, professionals, coaches and students plan, develop and achieve their career and leadership goals. She has been recognized by Worldwide Who’s Who as ‘VIP of the Year’ for showing dedication, leadership and excellence in leadership coaching. She is founder of the 1/1/1 Leader Project. The project prides itself on being simple. Set a goal. Work towards achieving it. Give someone a smile. Be nice to another person. Make the world a little bit nicer. It’s free so get started today!

Article References:
Help Guide

Photo Source: courtesy of stockimages / Free Digital Photos

by divya divya No Comments

5 Tips For Teens: How To Make Positive Thinking Easy

5 Tips For Teens How To Make Positive Thinking EasyDeveloping an optimistic outlook through positive thinking is good for both your physical and mental health. Understandably, it’s not always possible to keep a positive outlook during certain situations, but it is possible to develop the skills to have positive thinking become second nature. By learning how to make positive thinking easy, you’ll reap in some great benefits!

Surround yourself with positive people
Being around consistent negativity will only make you feel negative and drained. People who constantly complain, are depressed or unmotivated will certainly have a negative impact on you as well. Being around positive people, on the other hand, will rub off on you in a positive, productive way. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is positive!

Learn to deal with negative thoughts
It’s hard to become a positive thinker if your mind is constantly plagued with negative thoughts. To become a successful positive thinker you’ll need to learn to recognize the negative words you tell yourself. Words such as never and always are known to carry a negative mental impact. Instead of telling yourself, “I always make mistakes”, change your words to, “I make mistakes sometimes but I always learn from them.”

Set goals
It’s much easier to be positive and motivated when you have set goals in mind. Setting goals will give you the motivation you need to overcome obstacles and setbacks that life is sure to pass your way. When you are simply coasting through life without set goals, it’s much more difficult to gauge your progress and make intelligent decisions.  

Take responsibility for your actions
One of the secrets to successful people is their learned social emotional intelligence skills. Instead of coming across hard times and playing the victim, people with emotional intelligence take responsibility for their behavior. Accepting responsibility for your actions will help keep you thinking positively and prevent you from blaming others without reason.

Seek out positive material
Reading inspirational quotes, positive material about being successful in life or even biographies about people you admire, can all help you work towards becoming a positive thinker. Spend a little time every day reading something that encourages you to think positively. It’s a wonderful way to start and finish each day!

Making conscience decisions to change your way of thinking – from negative to positive – is a very effective step to ensuring success in your life. Surround yourself with other like-minded people, share stories and practice developing your levels of social intelligence to gain all the rewards of a happy life!


Author: Divya Parekh (ACC, CPC, LL, MS) is an international career leadership coach, Head Career Coach at International Coach Academy, and CEO of The DP Group. She assists executives, professionals, coaches and students plan, develop and achieve their career and leadership goals. She has been recognized by Worldwide Who’s Who as ‘VIP of the Year’ for showing dedication, leadership and excellence in leadership coaching. She is founder of the 1/1/1 Leader Project.  The project prides itself on being simple.  Set a goal.  Work towards achieving it.  Give someone a smile.  Be nice to another person.  Make the world a little bit nicer.  It’s free so get started today!

Article References:
Huffington Post

Photo Source: courtesy of Stuart Miles / Free Digital Photos

by daniel daniel No Comments

Season’s Greetings

season's greetings

May the traditions
of the Season
warm your heart and fill you with joy!
Wishing you a never ending season of love and peace.
and
A very healthy and happy New Year!

Your partner in suceess and happiness,

Divya

by daniel daniel No Comments

In The Moment

As I neared the lake, my phone rang.  Greta started out the conversation about her week being one of the most stressful weeks in sometime.  She had been involved in several crises and slammed with high priority work in addition to regular workload.  She said that energy drain along with insomnia continued through the week end.  She was unable to wind down this weekend.  She told me that the thought of going back to work on Monday made her feel sick to her stomach.  After several minutes of intense raving, she caught a breath.  She was too restless to do anything about the stress. 

 

 Since I was so wrapped up in listening, I was at a loss for words.  I told her to observe her surroundings until I called her back in few minutes.  I gazed at the vast expanse of the lake looking for answers.  A team of ducks was swimming near the shore. One duck turned its head completely backwards, pushing the beak into the feathers to preen them.  Few seemed to be searching for insect larvae.  Some were making loud displaying calls whereas some quieter contact calls.  The commonality between all of them was that each of the ducks was focused on task at hand. 

When I called Greta, I heard laughter in her voice as she informed me that she could not chat presently because her dog had gone crazy by the long awaited attention.  Greta had found a way to relax.  I gave a sigh of relief.  

What was it that had changed before and after our conversation?  Greta’s perspective had changed – just by being aware of what was going on right there and then, experiencing her present to the fullest.   Greta’s active and open attention on the present had chased her worries about tomorrow away. 

Living in the moment allows one to observe thoughts and feelings as is and generates a calm to deal with life situations.

To the moment!

Create a great week!

Your partner in success and happiness,

Divya

 

 

 

 

by daniel daniel No Comments

The Hospital Window

As I was clearing out my old emails, I came across this story and had to share.  It’s worth reading it again even if you have read it before.  

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room with a hospital window. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour a day to drain the fluids from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed next to the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the hospital window. The man in the other bed would live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the outside world.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake, the man had said. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Lovers walked arm in arm amid flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the man asked if he could be moved next to the hospital window. The nurse was happy to make the switch and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the hospital window beside the bed………..

It faced a blank wall.

The story brings the quote from Martha Washington to my mind.
The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances. We carry the seeds of the one or the other about with us in our minds wherever we go.

 

Create a great week.

 

Your partner in success and happiness,

 

Divya

 

by daniel daniel No Comments

How to Prepare for Unexpected and Suspended Employment ?

Hello Friends,

Life is great. You have a great career where you are growing by leaps and bounds. You are saving the money in 401K, mutual funds, stocks and bonds. You have a house mortgage and kids in college. All of a sudden an unexpected accident, injury or illness prevents you from working.

What now? Think ahead, plan for disability insurance or income protection insurance to tide you and family over the hard times. Usually the employer provides short and long term disability insurance.

Check out the following site for income protection insurance

http://www.lifebroker.com.au/income-protection

Create a great week!

Your partner in success and happiness.

Divya

by daniel daniel 7 Comments

Why Self-Motivate?

We should self-motivate because:

  • Motivation aids you weather uncertainties in life and world, the unexpected life events (emotional, health, family, friends and work), socio-economic changes, natural calamities, and others… with aplomb.
  • Motivation does not allow you to put your life completely “on hold” even in the toughest times
  • Motivation helps one learn, grow, share, do and feel good
  • Motivation helps you to help yourself and others to achieve your day to day purpose, mission and dreams
  • Motivation assists you to stay committed, live in the present, make changes, overcome obstacles, celebrate successes and achieve a feeling of well being, fulfillment and completeness.
  • Motivation equips your life boat with a rudder and you at the tiller to ride the waves that come your way

Your partner in success and happiness,

 Divya

Top