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The Youth Factor: Learning how to make social emotional intelligence work for you

The Youth Factor Learning how to make social emotional intelligence work for youAs a youth in today’s world, things are much different than they were for young people a couple of decades back. One reason for this is the structure of the family, in that more and more families consist of single parent homes. As a single parent come more responsibility and often less money for everyone in the house. This style of home life can sometimes complicate things and add to the already stressful day-to-day events today’s youth face. Additionally, all pervasive technology has reduced considerably free play and social interactions.

While some young people deal with their stress by lashing out and bullying, others are learning to deal with life in a more positive and productive manner. Since being heard and fitting in remain top priority for most young people, learning how to use social emotional intelligence will help you focus and make better choices.

For example, when a bully challenges you, you can take deep breaths and decide to walk away rather than confront the bully. By using social emotional intelligence, you can learn ways to develop yourself personally, socially and professionally. Take this scenario as an example, one that many of you may have experienced:

You are alone walking across a football field heading to gym class. Walking behind you are two boys who are obviously football players. You are not a football player but are considering trying out for the team. From behind, you suddenly hear one of the boys say to you, “So, I hear you’re going to try to play football.” The other boy snickers at his friend’s comment.

You hear his words and the contempt in his voice. You close your eyes and take a deep breath then turn to the boys and reply, “Yeah. I’m going to try out for the team even though I’m not very good at football.” After a pause, you add, “But I’m great at drawing. Show me something and I can draw it really good!” Then looking at the boy who made the original comment, you continue, “I’ve seen you play. You’re a really good football player. I would like to be as good as you someday.”

Your reply is not what your antagonist expected. Instead of coming back with a mean comment, you’ve disarmed him with your conversation. To your surprise the boy replies, “Well. You’re not that bad. Maybe I can show you a few things sometime.” Social emotional intelligence is the learned process through which adolescents implement the knowledge, perspective and skills needed to understand and manage emotions.  They understand goal achievement, empathy, and how to get along with others and develop positive relationships. It’s about having the emotional tools and mental ability to understand what’s happening and then deal with it appropriately. The short interaction with the football boys is an excellent example of learned social emotional intelligence.

By hearing the skepticism in the voice of the taunting football player and keeping your cool, you will have displayed your learned level of social emotional intelligence. Wherever you may be on this earth – whatever condition you may be in life, you will always find a need to draw on social emotional intelligence experiences.


Author: Divya Parekh (ACC, CPC, LL, MS) is an international career leadership coach, Head Career Coach at International Coach Academy, and CEO of The DP Group. She assists executives, professionals, coaches and students plan, develop and achieve their career and leadership goals. She has been recognized by Worldwide Who’s Who as ‘VIP of the Year’ for showing dedication, leadership and excellence in leadership coaching. She is founder of the 1/1/1 Leader Project. The project prides itself on being simple. Set a goal. Work towards achieving it. Give someone a smile. Be nice to another person. Make the world a little bit nicer. It’s free so get started today!

Article References:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/enlightened-living/200805/social-intelligence-authentic-relationship-and-conscious-communication
http://www.karlalbrecht.com/siprofile/siprofiletheory.htm
http://www.toptenz.net/top-10-issues-facing-our-youth-today.php

Photo Source: courtesy of stockimages / Free Digital Photos

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About Living in the Moment: The little things in life that matter most

About Living in the Moment The little things in life that matter mostLiving in the moment allows one to observe thoughts and feelings and generate a calm to deal with life’s situations. As John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

For the past months, years, decades, it is one thing or other. Time just slips away like sand from my fingers as I try to hold on to it. Days blend until everything is a blur. With the advent of dawn, the mind clicks into gears and sets the course on the day’s programmed journey. I think I am living in the moment for longer than most of people, but there are times when I am worried about the future or thinking about the past. I forget to be, just be.

As the day unfolds I find time to meditate, spend time with family and harmonize my body and mind amidst the swarm of wheeling and dealings of life. Yet, there is something missing. Something vital lacking.

Let me share one of our rituals with you. My son and I go green whenever possible. While using the car we try to lump as many errands as possible in one time to save fuel and cut back on carbon dioxide emission. One of our rituals is that we go for our haircuts together. We zoom in and we dash out. After the haircut, we look great feel good about beating the time and doing good for the brethren earthlings.

It has been over two months since we cancelled the appointment and got our haircuts. Hence, we look like unkempt poodles. It is a bad hair day, every day. To make things better I decided to wear my hair in a ponytail. Usually I dress well, but do not place a lot of emphasis on looks. The next day at work I am amazed at the number and depth of comments I received over my changed hair style. People had a question if everything is all right. Wow!!

It brought home that looking good matters because others have to look at you too. A well-dressed person is perceived to be someone who:

  • Is smart enough to handle a multitude of situations. Since intelligence is required to mix and match clothes accordingly, this is someone who cares about themselves and about others.
  • Thinks about themselves enough to spend money and time on their appearance.
  • Is self-assured, secure, feels good and vibrant regardless of their age.

What can I do since the next hair appointment is not until two weeks? I put on my thinking cap and scheduled two separate appointments for both of us. I realized that it is fun to be spontaneous and enjoy things as they happen. I hum as I go for my hair cut. As I entered the salon, I look in Angie’s eyes and tell her, “Work your magic Angie!” We talk, laugh and share our news as we catch up. I do not know where the time went. I feel good and look good as the reflection in the mirror stares back at me.

I feel alive! The world came in a sharp focus. It seems to be a pivotal moment as I feel one with myself. Suddenly, a three or four year old boy darted in front of my car from behind another car. I knew that the kid was safe as I pushed the brakes. A myriad of vibrations shook me to the core of my very being. I roll the window down to look for mom or dad. Dad looks at me and laughs as if there was nothing to it. He just asks the kid to step in the car and drives away. I drive home silently trying to figure out what had just happened. I thank the universe for being there for us.

As I ponder over the incident, a fog lifted and everything became crystal clear. The positive illusion of knowing that I knew how to live shattered. Being in the moment creates mindful awareness of what is going on right here and now. It includes any thinking we do about the past, present or future. I can evaluate the situation to learn from it to create a path forward for the future. Mindful awareness marries contemplation and day dreaming with reality.

Being aware allows me to stand back, make choices and direct my life to where I want to be. Being in the moment can save the day. The essence of the moment soothes the soul. We all have our moments when we live that moment.


Author: Divya Parekh (ACC, CPC, LL, MS) is an international career leadership coach, Head Career Coach at International Coach Academy, and CEO of The DP Group. She assists executives, professionals, coaches and students plan, develop and achieve their career and leadership goals. She has been recognized by Worldwide Who’s Who as ‘VIP of the Year’ for showing dedication, leadership and excellence in leadership coaching. She is founder of the 1/1/1 Leader Project. The project prides itself on being simple. Set a goal. Work towards achieving it. Give someone a smile. Be nice to another person. Make the world a little bit nicer. It’s free so get started today!

Photo Source: courtesy of Stuart Miles / Free Digital Photos

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Core Elements For Teens to Raise Their Emotional Intelligence

Core Elements For Teens to Raise Their Emotional IntelligenceWe all know people who are great at mastering their emotions. They are good listeners and have a way of making you feel optimistic and even motivated. Wouldn’t it be nice if we were all able to master our emotions and improve our emotional intelligence? Raising your level of social emotional intelligence can benefit you in many areas of your life and can impact your level of happiness and success. It also plays a role in your level of consciousness and energy.

Emotional intelligence is important to understand. It’s more than just having the ability to recognize your emotions. Having a keen sense of emotional intelligence also means understanding what your feelings are telling you and how these feelings affect others around you.

When you’re in tune with your emotional intelligence, you have the skills to adjust your behavior accordingly by managing your emotions. You also possess the skill to recognize and manage the emotions of other people. Emotional intelligence then, is about interpersonal effectiveness. The more effective you are with other people, the more successful you can be. There are several ways you can go about increasing your level of social emotional intelligence.

Being self-aware
Being able to identify how you feel about things as well as understand who you are, are core elements to self-awareness and emotional intelligence. To increase your level of emotional intelligence via self-awareness, spend time focusing on the present. Write your beliefs and feelings on paper, allowing yourself to put things into perspective and become more aware of who you are.

Learn to empathize
Did you know empathy is the second most important emotion that highly successful people acquire? Having empathy means recognizing and understanding where the other person is coming from. By learning to empathize, you will possess a higher level of emotional intelligence that will allow you get close to others and gain their support. Having the skill of empathy also arms you with the ability to defuse highly-charged conflicts in life.

Learn the importance of self-regulation
To self-regulate means to think before you act. It means having the ability to shift your thoughts in a way that prevents your emotions from taking over a situation. People with self-regulation are aware of their own strengths and weaknesses and look at themselves honestly.

Improve your social skills
You can also raise your level of emotional intelligence by improving your social skills. Learn to connect and talk easily with other people. Be socially responsible for your feelings by focusing on others. This shows that you care about them, not only yourself or about personal gain.

People who are highly emotionally intelligent tend to be happier. They often accomplish more because they can control their mood to serve their purpose. They are more motivated to find solutions to problems and do not feel like a slave to their emotions, which allows them to create more meaningful relationships in both their personal and professional lives.


Author: Divya Parekh (ACC, CPC, LL, MS) is an international career leadership coach, Head Career Coach at International Coach Academy, and CEO of The DP Group. She assists executives, professionals, coaches and students plan, develop and achieve their career and leadership goals. She has been recognized by Worldwide Who’s Who as ‘VIP of the Year’ for showing dedication, leadership and excellence in leadership coaching. She is founder of the 1/1/1 Leader Project. The project prides itself on being simple. Set a goal. Work towards achieving it. Give someone a smile. Be nice to another person. Make the world a little bit nicer. It’s free so get started today!

Article References:
Help Guide

Photo Source: courtesy of stockimages / Free Digital Photos

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Leadership Qualities: How to build yours with the 1-1-1 Leadership Project

Leadership Qualities How to build yours with the 1-1-1 Leadership ProjectThe world has changed over the years. It seems that today, there is not as much time to focus on the smaller things in life. We are becoming distant as families, communities and as a country. The 1-1-1 Leader Project is here to change that.

Divya Parekh is founder of the 1-1-1 Leadership Project. The project prides itself on being simple. Set a goal. Work towards achieving it. Give someone a smile. Be nice to another person. Make the world a little bit nicer. It’s free!

There are bound to be times in our lives when we feel that our dreams and plans for the future have gone astray. We had high expectations for our future, but somehow along the path, we accidentally took a wrong turn and got off course. Our intentions were good but decisions, choices and circumstances have put us in a different place than we expected.

But what if there was a way you could get back in touch with those dreams and set a course of action to get to where you really want to go? Come learn how to rediscover what it is you want for your life. Learn how to put a plan into place, how to make it real and achieve it. By following some very simple steps laid out in my special report, you will find success and satisfaction in this process.

Isn’t it time you finally get back on track toward your goals by turning them into reality? Just imagine the fulfillment and satisfaction you’ll experience! In today’s highly aggressive economic climate, achieving your dreams requires focused effort on how to differentiate your talents so you stand out in a sea of competitive sharks. It’s about managing risk and developing a style that ‘pops’.

We provide a unique experience that uses the power you innately possess as fertile ground. After personal consultation, we create your own distinct personal strategy, specifically tailored towards the pursuit of your dreams for sustained success and happiness. We work as your personal partner to manage risk. Managing, rather than avoiding risk, prepares you to face new challenges as you grow. So it becomes a life cycle of seeing risk as your ally.

Everyone knows someone in business that has the perfect style. A person who gets what they want, where they want it, when they want it. They have clout, salesmanship and grace all wrapped up in one stylish package.

Join us in partnership to become the leader that:

• Inspires your peers

• Impresses your superiors

• Takes on risk by the horns

• Delivers true value

All with that unique style, specifically developed for you! The project prides itself on being simple. Set a goal. Work towards achieving it. Give someone a smile. Be nice to another person. Make the world a little bit nicer. It’s free so get started today!


Author: Divya Parekh (ACC, CPC, LL, MS) is an international career leadership coach, Head Career Coach at International Coach Academy, and CEO of The DP Group. She assists executives, professionals, coaches and students plan, develop and achieve their career and leadership goals. She has been recognized by Worldwide Who’s Who as ‘VIP of the Year’ for showing dedication, leadership and excellence in leadership coaching. She is founder of the 1/1/1 Leader Project. The project prides itself on being simple. Set a goal. Work towards achieving it. Give someone a smile. Be nice to another person. Make the world a little bit nicer. It’s free so get started today!

Article References:
The 1-1-1 Leader Project

Photo Source: courtesy of cooldesign / Free Digital Photos

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Conflict Resolution Skills: Effective strategies of teaching conflict resolution

Conflict Resolution Skills Effective strategies of teaching conflict resolutionToo many of today’s adolescence face every day conflicts they do not know how to manage. They encounter issues that often involve jealousy, teasing and physical aggression. Violence and juvenile delinquency are symptoms of a young person’s inability to deal with these conflicts. Teaching young people how to manage their conflicts in a productive manner is one way to help reduce violent behavior.

Conflict resolution is about giving youth nonviolent tools to deal with conflicts that can lead to violent and self-destructive behavior. Conflict resolution involves teaching young people how to voice their opinions, express their interests and find a mutually acceptable solution between disputing parties. An important part of teaching conflict resolution is helping young people understand that conflicts happen all the time, and that with learned skills, conflicts can be dealt with in nonviolent ways.

Through public research and higher education input, programs that have the most success rate are those that integrate components that involve the basis of effective communication, problem solving processes, critical thinking and personal self-discipline and responsibility. With proper conflict resolutions principals, teachers, leaders and councilors will be able to:

  • Manage their students’ behavior, not with coercion, but by stressing personal self-discipline and responsibility.
  • Teach young people how to respond to daily conflicts without violence by implementing their learned skills of negotiation, consensus decision making and meditation.
  • Play a hand in activating community involvement in violence prevention via community programs and services.

Effective conflict resolution strategies

Peer mediation: This approach of conflict resolution involves specially trained student mediators. These student mediators work directly with their peers to find a conflict solution. The peer mediation approach often replaces the traditional disciplinary actions of detention, suspension and expulsion by encouraging problem solving and thus, decreasing the need for teacher involvement. One New Mexico school reported having over 100 playground fights per month. This method of conflict resolution decreased the numbers by 90 percent, to less than 10 fights per month.

Process curriculum: This approach involves teaching the principals, foundation abilities and problem-solving processes of conflict resolution. This curriculum, which is modeled after the Harvard Negotiation Project, involves administrators, teachers and students learning how to use negotiation to resolve disputes and achieve goals that satisfy both sides. This method of conflict resolution resulted in a North Carolina middle school seeing a 97 percent decrease in out-of-school suspensions.

Peaceable classrooms: Integrating a conflict resolution curriculum into the daily management of the classroom, this approach to conflict resolution uses instructional methods of academic controversy and cooperative learning. This method of dealing with conflicts shows teachers how to practice cooperation and offer effective communication that result in a peaceful classroom. Students who learned this method displayed an 80 percent decrease in teacher conflict management. School principal involvement plunged to zero.  

Peaceable School Approach: A conflict resolution management approach that integrates all three of the above principals. This method involves teaching all classroom teachers, principals, students, community members and crossing guards that the goal of a nonviolent society is realistic. This approach empowers students with conflict resolution strategies and skills to control their own behavior.  Several multiethnic New York City schools reported a 71 percent decrease in physical classroom violence after learning the peaceable school approach to conflict resolution.

Today’s young people cannot be expected to utilize skills they do not have. Teaching adolescents effective conflict resolution principles and strategies modeled by adults will help make for a more peaceful, nonviolent environment for everyone.

 


Author: Divya Parekh (ACC, CPC, LL, MS) is an international career leadership coach, Head Career Coach at International Coach Academy, and CEO of The DP Group. She assists executives, professionals, coaches and students plan, develop and achieve their career and leadership goals. She has been recognized by Worldwide Who’s Who as ‘VIP of the Year’ for showing dedication, leadership and excellence in leadership coaching. She is founder of the 1/1/1 Leader Project. The project prides itself on being simple. Set a goal. Work towards achieving it. Give someone a smile. Be nice to another person. Make the world a little bit nicer. It’s free so get started today!

Article References:
U.S. Department of Education
Kids Matter
Conflict Resolution Education

Photo Source: courtesy of Stuart Miles / Free Digital Photos

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5 Tips For Teens: How To Make Positive Thinking Easy

5 Tips For Teens How To Make Positive Thinking EasyDeveloping an optimistic outlook through positive thinking is good for both your physical and mental health. Understandably, it’s not always possible to keep a positive outlook during certain situations, but it is possible to develop the skills to have positive thinking become second nature. By learning how to make positive thinking easy, you’ll reap in some great benefits!

Surround yourself with positive people
Being around consistent negativity will only make you feel negative and drained. People who constantly complain, are depressed or unmotivated will certainly have a negative impact on you as well. Being around positive people, on the other hand, will rub off on you in a positive, productive way. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is positive!

Learn to deal with negative thoughts
It’s hard to become a positive thinker if your mind is constantly plagued with negative thoughts. To become a successful positive thinker you’ll need to learn to recognize the negative words you tell yourself. Words such as never and always are known to carry a negative mental impact. Instead of telling yourself, “I always make mistakes”, change your words to, “I make mistakes sometimes but I always learn from them.”

Set goals
It’s much easier to be positive and motivated when you have set goals in mind. Setting goals will give you the motivation you need to overcome obstacles and setbacks that life is sure to pass your way. When you are simply coasting through life without set goals, it’s much more difficult to gauge your progress and make intelligent decisions.  

Take responsibility for your actions
One of the secrets to successful people is their learned social emotional intelligence skills. Instead of coming across hard times and playing the victim, people with emotional intelligence take responsibility for their behavior. Accepting responsibility for your actions will help keep you thinking positively and prevent you from blaming others without reason.

Seek out positive material
Reading inspirational quotes, positive material about being successful in life or even biographies about people you admire, can all help you work towards becoming a positive thinker. Spend a little time every day reading something that encourages you to think positively. It’s a wonderful way to start and finish each day!

Making conscience decisions to change your way of thinking – from negative to positive – is a very effective step to ensuring success in your life. Surround yourself with other like-minded people, share stories and practice developing your levels of social intelligence to gain all the rewards of a happy life!


Author: Divya Parekh (ACC, CPC, LL, MS) is an international career leadership coach, Head Career Coach at International Coach Academy, and CEO of The DP Group. She assists executives, professionals, coaches and students plan, develop and achieve their career and leadership goals. She has been recognized by Worldwide Who’s Who as ‘VIP of the Year’ for showing dedication, leadership and excellence in leadership coaching. She is founder of the 1/1/1 Leader Project.  The project prides itself on being simple.  Set a goal.  Work towards achieving it.  Give someone a smile.  Be nice to another person.  Make the world a little bit nicer.  It’s free so get started today!

Article References:
Huffington Post

Photo Source: courtesy of Stuart Miles / Free Digital Photos

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One Kind Act

Remember- treat people like you want them to treat you. 1 act of kindness can go a long way.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8tzswROt70

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The Power of a Smile

A couple of weeks ago I took a trip to India to visit my sick mother. I tend to be an early riser and an active person. Every morning,  I would take a walk along this beautiful path near my mom’s house. I did that every morning for the three weeks I was there. And every morning, without fail, a nice young man would be standing near the entrance to the walking path. The young man was probably no more than 20 years old, and I assume his job was to function as a security guard. I am aware that the role of a security guard at a local walking path is not the most exciting job in the world.  Seeing this young man unenthusiastic and discontented, I wanted to do something for him. I made a conscious effort to give him a little wave and a smile every morning. My actions caught him off guard because I don’t think anyone who had ever walked along the walking path had ever acknowledged his presence. I waved at the young man every morning, and after few days, he grew more comfortable with me, and finally, he gave me a small wave back and a meek smile.

I began to see the power of a smile, and what effect it has on other people, but this was only the beginning.

I continued to wave and smile at the young man. And every day, the young man became more enthusiastic and more open with me. How did this happen? Had it only been a few days? Why does a smile have such a large effect on people?

Ask yourself this question tomorrow, and give someone a smile.

Share your The 1/1/1 Leader Project story in the comments.

 

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Is Home Schooling of Youth a Viable Educational Option?

Nelly Holst is a Certified Life Coach for women and is passionate about helping women excel in their personal and professional lives. She coaches women in areas such as homeschooling, relationships, parenting, and spiritual growth. 

In This Episode You’ll Learn:

  • How to decide if home schooling is for you?
  • How home schooling can be a viable educational option?
  • What are the challenges and advantages of home schooling?
  • How to overcome challenges faced while home-schooling youth?
  • About the resources needed for home schooling.
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005: Why Perspective is The Key to Happiness

Heidi Gottlieb is a Brain Cancer Survivor.  She has walked 250 miles to bring attention to the need for more research and funding for this cause.  She has over 20 years of experience in Marketing on high level advertising campaigns like Visa, Budweiser, and Comcast and she is also a Life Coach.  Heidi knows what it feels like to be filled with power, and knows what it feels like to be without it.  As a Life Coach, she helps people realize their own individual paths.

Listen Now: 

Subscribe in iTunes and Leave A Review to Spread the Word

 

In This Episode You’ll Learn:

  • How to employ perspective to face fragile life.
  • How to overcome seemingly insurmountable challenges.
  • How to live in the moment and lead today so that tomorrow will follow
  • How to make a difference in your and others’ lives by giving. 

 

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