Blog

by divya divya No Comments

Eliminate Divisive Behavior With Mindfulness

“Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean.” – Ryunosuke Satoro

There is an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous attitude in the United States these days. It manifests itself in politics, but lately, I have seen it bleed into other areas of society, including business.

I am talking about people’s inability to listen to other opinions and work together to solve an issue. This sort of behavior can be destructive when running a company or organization, but leaders can overcome its consequences for both themselves and their employees.

When you lead an organization or your own business, you are always in the position of working out the best way to resolve an issue, whether it is with your partners, staff, vendors, or customers. But when you and the people you work with do not listen to each other, an active solution is impossible. Imagine being a leader who is frustrated with his staff members. You’re putting in 200%, and you’re exhausted.

Some questions you should ask yourself are:

• Are you communicating your message without actively listening to your team?

• Are you aware of your team’s needs and wants?

• Are you working so hard because you are doing tasks that might be the responsibilities of your staff members?

 Are you very attentive? Do you provide detailed information and follow up with your employees frequently to ensure that everything goes perfectly?

While it is important to be attentive, you also don’t want your staff to feel micromanaged. This could create a lack of trust as well as a divide between you and your employees, which you cannot afford to happen. So what are you to do?

How Mindfulness Eliminates Divisiveness

In coaching others, writing books, and conducting my various enterprises, the one quality I advocate at all times is mindfulness.

Mindfulness is a conscious effort to know yourself. By definition, it is a conscious choice of living in the present, guided by value-based decisions and non-judgments. It also means living with grace. As we focus on the dance of the present, grace weaves its way into day-to-day activities and relationships.

When you understand and consistently strive to apply mindfulness to every aspect of your work, you are creating an environment where you negate that stubborn attitude that seems to pervade society.

Successful leaders are mindful by nature because they observe others without judgment. You are aware of the needs, values, and wants of others. You strategize and deliver under pressure while being thoughtful of everyone, including yourself, your team and your customers. You start to see where you might be needlessly hurting another’s feelings or discounting their opinions when they might know more than you do on a subject of discussion.

Being mindful enables you to reach out and bring others together to achieve a common goal. When people realize they can throw out ideas without fear of judgment, the synergy of your group increases by extraordinary amounts.

Mindfulness also allows you to be self-aware without judgment. You are accepting of your own strengths and limitations and open to discovering your blind spots and emotional hindrances. You can turn them into assets driven by values and support of friends and mentors. Mindfulness equips you with the desire of growth allowing you to learn from your life experiences — failures and successes alike — while retaining humility. If you are not mindful of your strengths and shortcomings, you can neither leverage your strengths nor get things done in areas where you are deficient.

As a leader, when you practice bringing mindfulness to all areas of your work, you pass down this knowledge to others. Let’s say you are a CEO. Even if you do not formally train and talk about mindfulness, your example will work wonders on all those you come into contact with during the day. While divisiveness seems to be growing into a tsunami in today’s culture, I believe human nature craves peace and the ability to work through problems or conflicts in a calm, sane manner. Mindfulness will bring this to your workplace or organization, and others will want to emulate how you do things.

By exercising mindfulness, leadership recognizes the humanity that is part of all of us. It stops reducing to process and metrics. When you realize the human potential in people you work with or that work for you, a business leader can tap into that knowledge and energy everyone has. Many times, it only takes one person to release the talent that is in another. When you conduct yourself with a spirit of mindfulness, you are bringing out the best in you and others, while fostering an environment of working together.

Learn how to weave mindfulness into everything you do. When you have somebody ask you why your company operates smoothly, take it as a teachable moment and let them know about mindfulness. It is an easy way of applying oneself that will reduce conflict and promote success in work and life.

Divya Parekh covers mindful influence, business relationships, and team and leadership performance.

by divya divya No Comments

Why Is Emotional Intelligence Important for Teens?

Why Is Emotional Intelligence Important for TeensThe concept of emotional intelligence is a top topic among today’s modern adolescents. It’s the young people of today that will make up the workforce of tomorrow. Since businesses are essentially people, anything that impacts the effectiveness of a person will also impact the business in which they work or run.

Many psychologists are agreeing that a person’s level of emotional intelligence, their EQ, is in many cases, more important than their IQ.  Experts are discovering that a person’s EQ is not only a more efficient predictor of the quality of potential relationships, but also an effective predictor for success and overall happiness.

Your level of emotional intelligence is your ability to understand and recognize your own emotions and reactions. In essence, it’s your level of self-awareness. To be able to control, manage and adapt your mood, emotions and responses through self-management. Having the skills to motivate yourself through emotions and then take the appropriate actions to commit and follow though, is a learned skill.

It is also a powerful skill to be able to recognize and discern the feelings of others, making a connection and gaining trust. Being able to build relationships, relate to other people in any given social situation, work as part of a team and negotiate any conflicts that may arise, are prominent core elements to social emotional intelligence.

Why is emotional intelligence so important?
Think about your mental well-being. Many of today’s young people deal with stress and pressure each day. Those who lack the skills to deal with these stresses have a higher chance of acting out due to a lack of mental well-being. Having emotional intelligence skills affects both your outlook and attitude. It can also help get rid of anxiety, help you deal with mood swings and avoid depression.

Now consider your physical well-being. Possessing the ability to properly manage your stress has a powerful impact on your overall wellness, which is tied to your level of emotional intelligence. It is from being aware of your emotional state and your reactions to various situations that you can learn to manage your stress and maintain good health.

Developing quality relationships is a skill everyone should have. By understanding your emotions you can better manage yourself and communicate effectively. You will also be able to relate to those around you by understanding the needs and feelings of others. This will help you to build stronger bonds and have more fulfilling relationships.

The skill of conflict resolution is one many people wish they had. Being able to see the perspective of another person is a powerful skill that will serve you well throughout your entire life. It’s easier to get along with people and give them what they want when you’re able to see both sides of a conflict.

It’s easy to see how social emotional intelligence plays a very important role in many areas of life. It plays a critical role in every aspect of the quality of our professional and personal existence. While technology can aid us in learning and mastering information, it’s mastering emotional intelligence where we learn to manage and master our emotions.


Author: Divya Parekh (ACC, CPC, LL, MS) is an international career leadership coach, Head Career Coach at International Coach Academy, and CEO of The DP Group. She assists executives, professionals, coaches and students plan, develop and achieve their career and leadership goals. She has been recognized by Worldwide Who’s Who as ‘VIP of the Year’ for showing dedication, leadership and excellence in leadership coaching. She is founder of the 1/1/1 Leader Project. The project prides itself on being simple. Set a goal. Work towards achieving it. Give someone a smile. Be nice to another person. Make the world a little bit nicer. It’s free so get started today!

Article References:
Psych Central
ASTD

Photo Source: courtesy of cooldesign / Free Digital Photos

by divya divya No Comments

Neuroscience Based Leadership: How to overcome the human resistance to change

Leadership - Overcome Human Resistance to ChangeEffective leadership at all levels is critical for success, however, the human resistance to change can be quite complex. While leadership and management changes have been greatly challenged over the years, neuroscientific findings have helped shed some light on the underlying effectiveness of leadership and change management practices as they relate to planning and implementing operative leadership programs.

Leaders are needed to motivate people of all ages and at all levels. Regardless if it’s a manger leading a coworker, a teacher leading a student or a life coach leading a family, everyone requires effective leadership. For years, successful leaders have recognized that engagement is one of the best predictors to success when it comes to positive change.

Research has uncovered some interesting scientific findings that are shown to better help people understand and “get on board” with what it takes to inspire others to become actively invested and involved in personal learning. Improved learning outcomes for children, adolescents and families greatly enhance human elements such as problem solving, collaboration with others, decision making, facilitating change and emotional regulation. It can also help promote resiliency when new changes arise, as well as influence innovation and creative thinking.

Although change is uncomfortable for a lot of people, Neuro-leaders who are aware of unique challenges of involving people and change, are the best-suited type of leaders for developing new solutions to long-standing problems. This is because they are willing to take the necessary risks and collectively think in a different format due to their understanding of what drives human behavior and motivation.

In more traditional coaching, neuroscientific findings reveal that most of what people implement as ways of changing have actually resulted in counter productiveness, in that people – children, adolescents, adults, coaches, teachers, counselors, families – ended up with the opposite result of what they needed to improve their outcome. Take for example a parent who relies on threats to motivate their teenager or a manager who uses intimidation to influence coworkers. In both situations, these older or perhaps more traditional methods of leadership are shown to be extremely ineffective because the people involved will become disengaged.

On the other hand, using neuroscience leadership methods by people in trusted places of authority and influence have shown the most favorable outcomes. Treating people fairly, providing them with options, promoting their creativity and insight and giving them opportunities to make decisions results in more resourceful thinking and thus, positive change.

 


 

Author: Divya Parekh (ACC, CPC, LL, MS) is an international career leadership coach, Head Career Coach at International Coach Academy, and CEO of The DP Group. She assists executives, professionals, coaches and students plan, develop and achieve their career and leadership goals. She has been recognized by Worldwide Who’s Who as ‘VIP of the Year’ for showing dedication, leadership and excellence in leadership coaching. She has also been recognized by NAPW as a ‘VIP Woman of the 2014 Year’ for outstanding leadership and commitment in coaching. She is founder of the 1/1/1 Leader Project. The project prides itself on being simple. Set a goal. Work towards achieving it. Give someone a smile. Be nice to another person. Make the world a little bit nicer. It’s free so get started today!

Article References:

http://www.cmhconference.com/index.php/agenda/2014-agenda?id=45

http://www.cmhnetwork.org/media-center/morning-zen/the-neuroscience-of-leadership-in-systems-of-care

 

by divya divya No Comments

Can Neuroscience Make You a Better Leader?

Neuroscience Studies Identify Leadership QualitiesOver the past few decades, advancements in neuroscience have been used to hone in on the functioning of perfectly healthy individuals. A field of study typically used in brain trauma and disorders such as Alzheimer’s Disease, Neuroscience studies are now being used to identify individual leadership qualities.

Information systems professor Pierre Balthazard from W. P. Carey School of Business, explains that during research, “We are looking at the positive psychology aspect of neuroscience. This is similar to what the clinicians and therapists have been doing but in a different direction. We take the God-given talent of an individual, and we tweak it or optimize it for certain functions.”

The field of cognitive neuroscience, an area of study that aims to understand social, neural and cognitive human interactions, has grown widely over the past decade. Both fields of organizational neuroscience and leadership neuroscience are interdisciplinary fields that involve psychology, information systems, and management science and are areas that are gaining worldwide academic acceptance.

These new areas of study are providing a useful supplement, not a replacement, to a more traditional methods of leadership development approaches. Results from this type of research are being used to develop better leaders by honing in on specialized skills and improving on other areas where leaders are weak. Balthazard says, “To me, these are weaknesses that are not necessarily abnormal or clinical but are leadership characteristics that could be improved upon. If individuals can improve these areas, then their leadership would certainly improve, and I would venture a guess that the organization as a whole would benefit.”

While some view this method of neuroscience as being new and unorthodox, the fact is the practice of psychometric testing has been around for many years. One of the most commonly known (and accepted) versions of psychometric testing are personality tests. The same form of personality testing that is used by corporations, grade schools and universities, employers, day camps, travel companies and even online dating sites.

While every organization that uses personality tests does so in order to connect or correctly match people to a school, a team, a job position, a company, or a life partner, neuroscience leadership can also be used as a way to improve leadership abilities and in turn, connect or match people with their strong points.

When combined with what we already know about personalities, Balthazard explains, “What we do is just a more efficient and effective way of doing what the brain does naturally. When you read a textbook, you are creating new neural pathways. What we’re doing does not change the person. We are making the brain more in tune with what it needs to be in order to learn a new thing more efficiently.”

 


 

Author: Divya Parekh (PCC, CPC, LL, MS) is an international business relationship and leadership coach,  speaker and author, and CEO of The DP Group. She assists executives, professionals, coaches and students plan, develop and achieve their personal, professional and financial goals. She has been recognized by Worldwide Who’s Who as ‘VIP of the Year’ for showing dedication, leadership, and excellence in leadership coaching. NAPW has also recognized her as a ‘VIP Woman of the 2014 Year’ for outstanding leadership and commitment in coaching. She is the founder of the 1/1/1 Leader Project. The project prides itself on being simple. Set a goal. Work towards achieving it. Give someone a smile. Be kind to another person. Make the world a little bit nicer. It’s free so get started today!

Article References:

http://knowledge.wpcarey.asu.edu/article.cfm?articleid=1997

by divya divya No Comments

The Mind Body Connection: Learning how emotions affect your health

Emotions - Mind / Body ConnectionMany people have never given thought to the idea that happiness is determined more by state of mind than external events. It’s not necessarily about what happens, but is instead about how it’s dealt with it. Many people don’t realize that this mind/body connection is directly related to their emotions and their well being.

People with good emotional health feel good about themselves. They enjoy healthy relationships, are aware of their thoughts, feelings and behaviors, and have learned healthy ways to deal with the normal stresses of life. Events such as a divorce, a job loss, having children leave home, financial problems and death and illnesses can leave people feeling strong sensations of stress, sadness or anxiety.

On the other hand, even good events can have an impact that results in a disruption of their emotional health. Having a new baby, getting a job promotion, moving to a new home or city, or getting married can be just as stressful as life’s negative events.

 

What is a mind / body connection?

When the body physically reacts to emotional events, this is called the mind/body connection. It is common for life-sized events to cause the body react to the way people respond to their feelings, thoughts and actions. Some common mind/body reactions include stomach ulcers and high blood pressure, however, the list of health-related emotional reactions is much longer.

People suffering poor emotional health, meaning people who become easily stressed, angered, saddened, anxious or generally upset during difficult times, tend to have weakened immune systems. This weakened immune system makes it easier to get sick, catch colds and even infections. Furthermore, when people feel tired, stressed or anxious, they are less likely to take care of themselves. This is generally a time when it becomes more difficult to exercise, eat healthy or take prescription medication and instead, leads people to abuse other means of dealing with their off-kilter emotional balance.  Unbalanced

How to create emotional balance

It’s possible to improve emotional health by first recognizing these emotions and understanding them. Emotionally unbalanced people need to set time aside to sort through the cause of their sadness, anxiety or stresses, beginning the forward step to managing their emotional health. Other tips for emotional improvement include:

Let it out: It’s important to express feelings and not keep them bottled up inside. Keeping things pent up often leads to even more emotional imbalances.

Aim for a balanced life: When dealing with negative issues try to focus on positive events instead. This is not to say ignore negative feelings, but instead, try not to obsess about problems. Focusing on the positive things is a way to help bring inner happiness and peace when dealing with undesirable problems.

Calm yourself: This could be an ideal time to start exercising, beginning yoga classes or other forms of meditation.

Good emotional health means taking care of yourself. It means ensuring healthy eating, regular exercise, enough sleep and implementing a regular routine, which will go a long way to relieving pent-up tensions.

 


 

Author: Divya Parekh (ACC, CPC, LL, MS) is an international career leadership coach, Head Career Coach at International Coach Academy, and CEO of The DP Group. She assists executives, professionals, coaches and students plan, develop and achieve their career and leadership goals. She has been recognized by Worldwide Who’s Who as ‘VIP of the Year’ for showing dedication, leadership and excellence in leadership coaching. She has also been recognized by NAPW as a ‘VIP Woman of the 2014 Year’ for outstanding leadership and commitment in coaching. She is founder of the 1/1/1 Leader Project. The project prides itself on being simple. Set a goal. Work towards achieving it. Give someone a smile. Be nice to another person. Make the world a little bit nicer. It’s free so get started today!

Article References:

http://familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/prevention-wellness/emotional-wellbeing/mental-health/mind-body-connection-how-your-emotions-affect-your-health.html

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1456909/

 

 

by divya divya No Comments

Motivating Your Teenage Son to Success

As a child your son was enthusiastic. He loved playing with blocks, reading and drawing. His boundless energy of always wanting to learn more, touch things and explore often left you exhausted but pleased. You knew you had a smart child in the making. However, by the time he hit elementary school, things began to change.

It was around this time when you received your first note that your child was “experiencing some problems.” Included in the list of teacher comments were things like failing to complete projects on time, not turning in homework, is fidgeting in classes and not staying focused on task at hand. His lack of motivation left you feeling disheartened as you look over his mediocre grades and sly attitude.

 

It seems your teenage son has officially disconnected, leaving you to wonder why your smart child is no longer motivated to succeed. While a lack of motivation can be cause for a child to not succeed, an un-motivated child can also turn your home into a battleground. One of the first steps to motivating your teenage son is to help them develop a love of learning.

Boys learn differently

Males learn best with they are on the move as opposed to being sedimentary. This will explain the fidgeting in the classroom. The male mind is more interested in physical activity such as building things, running and jumping, solving puzzles, touching and exploring. Studies show that boys prefer to read stories about other boys involved in activities they enjoy.

Make learning fun by connecting home and school

You’ll need to pay special attention to your son to find out what does motivate him. Learn about his interests and provide incentives (which are not the same as rewards) to encourage him to learn. For example, if your teenage son enjoys building things, then connect him with a local science club. You can then use this to explain how learning math and physics in school are important to engineering. Perhaps your son loves animals. See if he can volunteer at a nearby vet clinic and explain how biology and science are part of animal care. The idea is to get him motivated by involving him in things that interest him and then convey the importance of his school subjects to his interests.

Time trades

Your teenage son will need to accept the fact he will have to do things he may not want to do, such as homework and house chores. Teaching him about time trades will help him become accustomed to doing these activities. For example, for every minute or hour your son spends doing homework or chores, he can trade an equal amount of time doing something he enjoys from a list that you have created together. He can even bank time to use for daytrips, theme park visits or overnight campouts. Remember, the list needs to consist of his interests or else he won’t be motivated. You can work together to keep track of maintaining the time record and working out details. This method of time trade will also teach him self-regulation.

Other things to try

  • Everyone likes to have their personal space, so create a personalized work area for your son. Work together to create a space where he can do homework, build things, read – whatever he needs to be motivated to do what he needs to do. A personalized workspace will be more appealing to him than a general area that is used by everyone in the house.
  • Consider introducing him to male role models. Find ways in your neighborhood or community to connect your son with organizations that interest him. Maybe your son loves cars and you just happen to have a neighbor that restores old autos. Perhaps your son has a knack for professional sports and the community beside you has an organized sports league. These types of activities can also be used for time trades.

Motivation is something every parent wants for their children. Helping your un-motivated teenage son become interested and motivated is one of the best gifts you can provide. It will teach him to set and achieve his goals and become a life-long learner.

 


Author: Divya Parekh (ACC, CPC, LL, MS) is an international career leadership coach, Head Career Coach at International Coach Academy, and CEO of The DP Group. She assists executives, professionals, coaches and students plan, develop and achieve their career and leadership goals. She has been recognized by Worldwide Who’s Who as ‘VIP of the Year’ for showing dedication, leadership and excellence in leadership coaching. She has also been recognized by NAPW as a ‘VIP Woman of the 2014 Year’ for outstanding leadership and commitment in coaching. She is founder of the 1/1/1 Leader Project. The project prides itself on being simple. Set a goal. Work towards achieving it. Give someone a smile. Be nice to another person. Make the world a little bit nicer. It’s free so get started today!

Article References:

http://tip.duke.edu/node/829

http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/12/03/teenage-son-lacks-motivation/

Top